Work

Showing 1–16 of 159 resultsSorted by popularity

“Look, I’m not saying it’s going to be today. But someday–someday–you guys will be happy that you’ve taken along a lawyer.”
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“Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale.”
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“You’re on the forty-ninth floor now, Mr. Dowd. Up here, the world no longer revolves around you.”
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“You’ll notice that I was born in 1968–a very prestigious year.”
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“Before we discuss destroying the competition, screwing our customers, and laughing all the way to the bank, let’s begin this meeting with a prayer.”
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The Amazingly Inexpensive Moving Company
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“The years 1966 through 1995 are blank because I was on tour with the Grateful Dead.”
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“When examining these new contracts, gentlemen, please note that in Paragraph 48 the word ‘golden’ has been replaced by ‘plywood’ and ‘parachute’ is now ‘toboggan.'”
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“And, for what we don’t cover, there’s insurance insurance.”
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Mr. Pussycat
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“My latest book has so far failed to make a dent in any of their charts, e-book or normal.”
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The Fledgling Author Struggles to Find his Voice…
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Itinerant Husbands
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“Bramwell, did you know that you can earn as much as two hundred dollars extra each month in your spare time by selling shoes in your own home? That’s right–as much as two hundred dollars extra in your spare time!”
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“I hope we’ve learned a little lesson here today, Jenkins.”
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A Los Angeles Businessman…
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