prison

Showing 1–16 of 25 results

“You, down there, celebrity prisoner No. 849, stop regaling the exercise yard with takes of former show-biz glory.”
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Doin’ Time
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“End of February, McIntosh. Time to think about our spring plantings.”
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“Unfortunately, my crime spree occurred just before today’s level of incompetence set in at the F.B.I.”
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“It’s the millennium, so maybe we should plan something special for New Year’s Eve.”
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” ‘And so the crack-whore princess and her pimp lived happily ever after. The end.’ O.K., that’s it. Lights out.”
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“Gee, but I miss the heightened eroticism of those five and a half years of conjugal visits.”
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“This is another guy I blew away–pictured, of course, in happier times.”
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Escape
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“Lethal injection’s my favorite, because they don’t make you shave your head.”
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“It’s a sort of Birdman of Alcatraz situation, except that Martin here isn’t a bird.”
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Time
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“Number 6522719? Our executive assistant warden says he’s sorry but he’s been unavoidably detained at the squash court. However, if you will leave your criminal record he’ll be happy to reschedule for next week.”
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Three Guys on Work Release
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“Country Club Dungeon”
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“Apparently, nobody up there gives a crap that daylight-saving time is over.”
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