Medical

Showing 1–16 of 20 results

“Kids, your mother and I have spent so much money on health insurance this year that instead of vacation we’re all going to go in for elective surgery.”
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WTF?
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“Sorry, Sylvia, but your mother’s long-term care has been going on just a little bit too long.”
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“Do you further promise to love, honor and obey this insurance company and to disclose to it any pre-existing medical conditions?”
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“Jet lag, wind burn, sun stroke, Doc–you name it.”
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“Sorry, but I don’t do stitches anymore. All stitches are now handled by Local 405 over at Bellevue.”
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“Gee, Al, two thousand dollars doesn’t buy much of a sex change these days, does it?”
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“How may I direct your call? Doctor-assisted or regular?”
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“More ashtray, nurse! For God’s sake, more ashtray!”
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Cyclopetrist
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DENTIMONY
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“Would you like to see the drawing I just did of my doggie?”
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“Good luck with the second hand smoke.”
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“I gotta tell you, doc, this insomnia is wreaking havoc with my ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound.”
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In the Fever Cubicle
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“Thanks, but I’ll just stick with beer.”
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