Medical

Showing 1–16 of 20 resultsSorted by popularity

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  “Kids, your mother and I have spent so much money on health insurance this year that instead of vacation we’re all going to go in for elective surgery.”

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  “Would you like to see the drawing I just did of my doggie?”

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  WTF?

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  “Sorry, Sylvia, but your mother’s long-term care has been going on just a little bit too long.”

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  “Do you further promise to love, honor and obey this insurance company and to disclose to it any pre-existing medical conditions?”

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  “Jet lag, wind burn, sun stroke, Doc–you name it.”

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  “Sorry, but I don’t do stitches anymore. All stitches are now handled by Local 405 over at Bellevue.”

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  “Gee, Al, two thousand dollars doesn’t buy much of a sex change these days, does it?”

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  “How may I direct your call? Doctor-assisted or regular?”

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  “More ashtray, nurse! For God’s sake, more ashtray!”

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  Cyclopetrist

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  DENTIMONY

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  “Good luck with the second hand smoke.”

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  “I gotta tell you, doc, this insomnia is wreaking havoc with my ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound.”

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  In the Fever Cubicle

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  “Thanks, but I’ll just stick with beer.”

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