Kids

Showing 1–16 of 98 resultsSorted by popularity

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  Jimmy, Sixth-generation Pain in the Ass

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  “I’m sorry, Timmy, but you are wrong. You are terribly, terribly wrong.”

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  Fatalism . . . and the Seeds of Doubt

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  “Hey, Gramps, is ‘deathbed’ one word or two?”

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  “Yes, but what I really want to do is write children’s books.”

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  The Cat Zapper

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  “Damn it, Billy, I’m not the enemy. The people next door are the enemy.”

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  “What lucky child would like to lick the mincemeat pie spoon?”

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  “Remember the Nazis? Auschwitz? Slave labor? Well they’re back.”

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  Old Scrooge’s Lump-O-Coaltique

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  Sledding

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  “Go bother your mother. She’s only reading chick lit.”

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  “Little victories, son, little victories.”

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  The fortune cookie wins every time

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  “Go ahead–rob a bank, But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

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  “You know I’m not a telemarketer, Jimmy, and you are not going to fine me eleven thousand dollars. Now, for the last time, put your mother on.”

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