Office
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“I’ll begin today’s proceedings by saying that we have enough food and water to last us until some sort of eventual turnaround.”
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“You’re on the forty-ninth floor now, Mr. Dowd. Up here, the world no longer revolves around you.”
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“Before we discuss destroying the competition, screwing our customers, and laughing all the way to the bank, let’s begin this meeting with a prayer.”
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“Pardon us, Harrison, if the board fails to share your enthusiasm for the foliage up in Darien.”
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“The years 1966 through 1995 are blank because I was on tour with the Grateful Dead.”
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“It was at this point, gentlemen, that reality intruded.”
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“FEMA here. No, we haven’t had any substantiated reports of earthquakes.”
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“When examining these new contracts, gentlemen, please note that in Paragraph 48 the word ‘golden’ has been replaced by ‘plywood’ and ‘parachute’ is now ‘toboggan.'”
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“No…Nooooo…Noooooooo”
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Mr. Pussycat
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“Bramwell, did you know that you can earn as much as two hundred dollars extra each month in your spare time by selling shoes in your own home? That’s right–as much as two hundred dollars extra in your spare time!”
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“I hope we’ve learned a little lesson here today, Jenkins.”
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“Virginia, please call the pastry shoppe and order me something evil.”
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“Jenkins, read me back the minutes from the last dip.”
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Cubicle Pooling
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