TV
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“Today’s number is two thousand four hundred and seven. That’s sixteen above normal for this date and thirty-eight ahead of last month at this time.”
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“There are only three signatures on this recall petition. Monday Night Football, therefore, will remain in effect until further notice.”
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“Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong.”
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“The reason I’m singing the national anthem, Steve, is that I’m signing off now.”
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Tunnel of TV
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“But enough about my teeth. Let’s talk about your teeth.”
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“We seem to get just the one channel.”
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“Now here’s my co-anchor, Nancy, with a conflicting account of that very same story.”
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“The reason it’s going to keep flashing on and off is that we love you, and we want you to love us, too.”
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“Gentlemen, I am happy to announce that as of today we are closing down our Washington news bureau and moving the entire operation to L.A.”
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Nostalgiaville
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“When I first heard about the move from CBS to Fox, I was sad, because I figured that was it–it would never be the same. But then I had a revelation–an epiphany, if you will–and I realized that, hey, it will be the same. It will always be the same.”
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“You see? Once more, Wile E. Coyote is restored swiftly and miraculously to health. His potential trauma has been trivialized, and we are yet again amused.”
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Fun for the entire family
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