stock market

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“My 401(k) is safe. It’s tied up in booze futures.”
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“You asked me to believe in your stock options, Freddie, and I believed.”
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“Well, I’m sure that Alan Greenspan’s mother is very proud.”
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“Dow Jonesy enough for you?”
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“Liverwurst is down an eighth, egg-salad is up two and a half, and peanut-butter-and-jelly remains unchanged.”
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“Promise me, Eddie, that when I pass away, you won’t make the announcement until after the closing bell so as not to affect the stock market.”
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“I think whatever’s going to happen next has already happened.”
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