News

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“Gentlemen, I am happy to announce that as of today we are closing down our Washington news bureau and moving the entire operation to L.A.”
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Every Hour in the Untited States, People Eat Three Acres of Pizza.
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Bulletin at Malibu
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“You heard the little lady, Mister. She said, ‘Don’t touch that dial.’ “
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Weather-network Bulletin
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“I’m going back to my room, where the media is a little less mainstream.”
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“To hold in your hand the spiritual destinies of several billion people, Your Holiness, has got to be a rush.”
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Today’s Issues
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