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“Counsellor will instruct his client to remove his hat and put on some pants before sentencing.”
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“Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale.”
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“He lost his tempter, swatted you with a newspaper, then called you the ‘D’ word. But, I ask you, are you not a ‘D’?”
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“And lastly, Your Honor, I would like to present Mr. Richard Coan in the small but crucial role of the defendant.”
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“I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to hand over that cape. Your test came back positive for anabolic steroids.”
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“Your Honor, I think you’ll get a kick out of my client’s extenuating circumstances.”
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“Jughead, Reggie, Betty, and Veronica–they’ve all been locked up. But you, Archie–I had higher hopes for you.”
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“Please accept the apologies of this court. You’re free to go now, and, by the way, here’s your DNA back.”
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