jail

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“End of February, McIntosh. Time to think about our spring plantings.”
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“Unfortunately, my crime spree occurred just before today’s level of incompetence set in at the F.B.I.”
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” ‘And so the crack-whore princess and her pimp lived happily ever after. The end.’ O.K., that’s it. Lights out.”
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“This is another guy I blew away–pictured, of course, in happier times.”
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“Lethal injection’s my favorite, because they don’t make you shave your head.”
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Insufficient Postage
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“It’s a sort of Birdman of Alcatraz situation, except that Martin here isn’t a bird.”
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“What with current restrictions on punitive damages, I had no recourse but to shoot the son of a bitch.”
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“Number 6522719? Our executive assistant warden says he’s sorry but he’s been unavoidably detained at the squash court. However, if you will leave your criminal record he’ll be happy to reschedule for next week.”
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“I keep pretty busy on the outside. If it weren’t for these occasional incarcerations, I’d never get any vacation at all.”
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