Government

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“FEMA here. No, we haven’t had any substantiated reports of earthquakes.”
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Spy Cam in Eden
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“I miss the Commies.”
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“The only solution I can see is to hold a series of long and costly hearings in order to put off finding a solution.”
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“Don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t give a crap–that’s my contract with America.”
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“Why is it that the people in charge always turn out to be idiots? Present company, of course, excepted.”
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“I’m sorry, but this is the home base for the moderate rebel faction. You want the fundamentalist guerrilla organization, which is over on Elm Street.”
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“All those who prefer to view the current situation with increasing alarm please signify by saying ‘Aye.’ “
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“Of course it would be a different story entirely if we could extract crude oil from stem cells.”
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DMV, Enter Here
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American Gothic
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“Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car.”
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